An Educator's Thoughts On Gun Violence

Before I began a career in higher education, I was a teacher in the public schools. At various times throughout my career I taught just about everything from kindergarten through high school. I’d like to share a story about something that happened to me when I was in my fourth year of teaching. (And I promise that my next post will go back to my usual topics!)

Eight years ago I was teaching sixth grade in Brimfield Ohio. This was such a small town that it had   to combine with another local town to form one complete school district. Brimfield and Suffield, or Field, as it is known, were one of those places you used to see on 1950’s sitcoms. It was and is a place where neighbors know each other and sometimes even leave their doors unlocked when they run out on an errand. The kind of place where kids have an idyllic childhood and nothing bad ever happens, until January 2005. I still remember that last day, Friday January 21st. My English class had been doing a unit on poetry, and we traveled across the school to a second grade class to share what we’d learned. My kids acted as teachers to small groups of students teaching a lesson based on the poem “If I Were in Charge of the World” by Judith Viorst. The second graders created their own “If I Were…” poems and illustrated them. We’d “adopted” this class a few months before and most Fridays we’d get together, in either their classroom or ours, for some fun learning activities. We played educational games or read together, and my students acted as big buddies. It was a great project and a great self-esteem boost for my students who were all considered learning disabled. That Friday went really well, and I remember leaving feeling particularly pleased with my students and what we’d accomplished.



The next morning was a typical day for Ohio in January, cold but only partly cloudy. I was still warm and cozy in my pajamas, getting ready to start lesson planning and grading papers, so I could be done when my husband got off work later that afternoon, when the phone rang. It was unusual for us to be getting a call on a Saturday morning, but I don’t remember any particular sense of dread as I picked it up. The voice on the other end immediately ended all cozy good feelings. It was my contact on the phone tree at work; I knew immediately something big must be wrong-why else call on a weekend? She told me that it had been activated to let all the teachers know that one of our students and his mother had been killed the night before. My heart sank. And as she went on to explain what happened, I sank. Sliding down the wall to the floor I clutched the phone sure that I was dreaming-this couldn’t be true, not in Brimfield. It seemed that the mother’s boyfriend had shot them both before leading the police on an overnight manhunt which ended with him taking a young college student hostage in her apartment and finally killing her before the police stormed the building. Then the teacher on the phone told me his name. If anything could make this tragedy 

Sadly this is the best photo of Dakota that I could find online and it doesn't allow me to enlarge it.

worse, it was the words she said next. Dakota Bauer was one of the students in that second grade class we had visited the day before. While I hadn’t yet learned all their names, I knew Dakota. He was a bright light, a happy, sweet, and amazing kid who stood out in a crowd. I remembered him showing me his poem and being so proud of himself. Just yesterday. Not even 24 hours ago and now he was dead. His light extinguished forever in a hail of bullets.

For me the next few days were a haze of grief. As we learned more about what happened it just got harder and harder to deal with it all. I tried to be strong for my students, but honestly how do you help them understand when you can’t make sense of it yourself? I still remember bits and pieces. Visiting Mrs. Knippenberg’s class to comfort each other. The counselors coming in and talking to my kids. Writing letters to Dakota’s father. Going to the (closed casket) visitation at the funeral home. Mr. Bauer's Spider Man tee-shirt (not exactly typical at a funeral home but it was the last Christmas present his son ever gave him). And some good things too-lots of hugs. Manny, the "therapy" dog. Everyone comforting each other. I also remember a conversation I had with someone on the outside. On Monday nights I took a Tai Chi class at the community center. The only other student in the class was the county coroner. He and I talked about the murders a little. Before it became too much for either of us he told me that it was one of the most horrific things he’d ever witnessed. Roger had been a child in the Philippines during WWII and seen some pretty atrocious and violent things. He had also been coroner for a number of years, but the sight of that little boy, clutching his teddy bear, and wrapped in his mother’s arms caused even this strong man to break down.

By the time the trial started we had moved to North Carolina. I tried to forget, but I couldn’t help following it online. As each new fact came to light it just became more and more horrible to read, but I couldn’t stop. You see, this was a tragedy that never should have happened. Not just because these people didn’t deserve to die, but because their murder, James Trimble, was a convicted felon who was not legally allowed access to fire arms. At one point the prosecution laid his guns out on a table before the jury, guns he had managed to obtain through loopholes in the gun laws. Although only two were used in the actual murders, in total he owned more than 20 guns including an AK-47 assault rifle. Thirteen bullets entered the body of Renee Bauer, and eight were found in Dakota. The defense tried to argue that Dakota was an accident, and if his mother hadn’t been holding him he wouldn’t have died because most of those bullets passed through her body into his. Fortunately the jury didn’t fall for this. Trimble was convicted of all three murders and sentenced to death.

Now, almost eight years to the day since Renee and Dakota Bauer and Sarah Positano were brutally murdered in their homes James Trimble sits on death row. His lawyers haven’t exhausted all their appeals, but I have faith that the system will work and his sentence will eventually be carried out. In the years since we’ve all moved on. My former students have graduated from high school and Dakota’s former classmates are sophomores. They are getting ready for learners permits, proms, girl and boyfriends, college, and a life beyond school-all things Dakota will never experience. I’ve embarked on two new careers and had a child of my own. In a few months she’ll be seven and in second grade, the same age Dakota was when he died. I also can’t help but think of Sarah. Although I didn’t know her, she was only a few years younger than me and an education major. What would have become of her? Would she be married? Have kids of her own? She was only four months away from earning her degree. Would she have stayed in that area? Maybe even taught in my district? We’ll never know because James Trimble took those opportunities away. One night. Two guns. Three lives lost.

So if you ask me if I’m in favor of gun control, the answer is a resounding “YES!” I have always been a proponent of small government, equal rights, and upholding the constitution. I think that the government has a tendency to overregulate to the detriment of its people. I don’t believe that we need to abolish the second amendment and completely outlaw guns. I know plenty of people who shoot and hunt responsibly. My cousin is one of those people. He owns guns and likes to hunt. I don’t want to stop him (heaven knows we need to do something about the overpopulation of deer). But it’s his increasingly angry posts on Facebook, along with some less heated comments by friends, that have prompted me to write about my experience. You see, I don’t object to people owning guns IF they are legally allowed to. I object to the loopholes that allow convicted felons like James Trimble and the mentally ill Sandy Hook, Colorado theater, and Arizona shooters to own weapons. And no, I can’t see a reason why people need to own assault rifles and automatic weapons. These are only good for hunting one kind of prey-the human kind. And before you post something about the need to protect ourselves in case of a government uprising let me say this: In 1776 we began a war with England using the same weapons they had. We won because of a combination of strategy, effective leadership, and fate. In 2013, if we were to rise up against our government we would be crushed. Even if every single household had an assault rifle we would be no match for the tanks, bazookas, nuclear bombs, and other advanced weaponry our government controls. So it doesn’t really matter if your AK-47 has a ten round clip or a Rambo bullet belt-it just isn’t going to happen.

I have one other point. A lot of people have said that if there had been an armed guard at Sandy Hook this tragedy wouldn’t have happened. I also adamantly oppose the thought of armed men wandering around schools. We’ve seen that an armed guard didn’t stop the Columbine massacre, even though he engaged with at least one of them as they were walking into the school. Being in one of the most heavily armed places in this country surrounded by people who were trained in combat didn’t stop the Fort Hood shooter. And having access to more than 20 guns didn’t save Renee or her son. She was killed because she was leaving an abusive boyfriend. An abusive boyfriend who owned more than 20 guns and she surely could have gotten one had she wanted to before he started shooting.

On Monday we will celebrate a holiday dedicated to one of the greatest peacemakers of the last century, maybe of all time. Also on that day three families will mark the eighth anniversary of the violence that shattered their lives forever. I can’t help but think about them and the families of the 240,000 other people who have been killed by guns in this country in the past eight years. I can’t help but wonder what would have been if we had had the guts to stand up to the NRA and gun lobbyists eight, nine, or ten years ago. We have that opportunity now. The ability to say, “Enough is enough and we won’t tolerate another 240,000 or 2,400 or even 2 more deaths by gun violence when we can do something to stop it.” Won’t you please stand with me and do something for Dakota? For Renee? For Sarah? For all the other children we’ve lost and could lose if we don’t do something?

To those of you who own guns legally and responsibly, I don’t want to trample on your rights. Buy guns. Go hunting. Go to the shooting range. Protect your family if it comes to that. I respect your right to do so. Because stronger gun control laws aren’t going to infringe on your right to do those things, but they might just save the next Sandy Hook, Colorado, Arizona, or Dakota.

Energy Vampires

Energy is all around us. It is within us. The Chinese call it qi (chee) and it’s this qi, or flow of energy, that sustains all living things. It is the life force which permeates everything, connects everything, and links us all together. Yet this life force is not infinite. It ebbs and flows as it moves from one living thing to another. Think back to your high school physics class. Remember the law of the conservation of energy? Energy is neither created nor destroyed, it merely changes form.

Our internal energy levels are changed by the people around us and the activities in which we are engaged. Certain people and activities are energy givers while others are energy sappers. Introverted people tend to feel this drain more than extroverted people, but it can happen to anyone. Ever notice how leaving the gym after a workout you tend to have more energy, and yet sitting in front of the computer for hours on end will drain you to last reserves?  That’s conservation. In the former you are engaged in something that attracts energy to you. The latter is draining energy from you.

This also explains how we can come into work feeling energized and ready to face the day, but by 5:00 we’re exhausted, frustrated, and ready to go to bed. We have used up our energy reserves. It is especially true of people in “giving professions” such as education, social work, and nursing-in other words, any profession in which the person engages in care for another individual(s). In fact, a recent research project led by Noelle Robertson and Jenny Watts of the University of Leicester reported that in higher education, “staff exposure to high numbers of students…strongly predicts the experience of burnout." There it is. Proof that students are energy vampires.

(Just kidding)

In all actuality, anyone can be an energy vampire-a co-worker, client, or friend. You could be one and not even know it. Many of these people have emotional issues that prevent them from understanding the impact they have on others. They complain, live in a world of drama, act as victims, brag, ask questions, or seek approval from others. (Sounds like a group of preschoolers doesn’t it?) This constant bid for attention can be draining and leave you frustrated, tired, and depressed. You don’t want to be rude and send them away, but you have to take care of your own needs as well.

So what do you do when an energy vampire comes calling on you?

It’s important to keep in mind that energy (both positive and negative) is contagious. And it’s easier to get sucked into negativity than positivity thus handing your energy reserves over to the other person. Given those two facts, you need to take steps to arm yourself against those who would suck the qi right out of you.

1. Identify the people and settings which most drain your energy. The best defense is a good offense. Pay attention to what your body tells you. When you leave a meeting or someone leaves your office, take a quick mental stock of how you’re feeling. Are you excited, ready to go on to the next thing? Or are you ready for a nap? Same thing after a meeting, filling out paperwork, etc. What is your body telling you? Knowing what and who your energy suckers are will help you decide how to handle them.

2. Identify the people and activities which give you energy. Do you need time alone to be re-energized? Or perhaps you’d rather spend time with someone special? Does a certain song or quick stretch leave you feeling upbeat and ready to go? (For me it’s “The House Rules” by Christian Kane-fabulous energizing song!) Take some time to discover what makes you feel better. Once you know how to reboot your system, look for ways to incorporate these activities or people into your daily life.

3. Recognize your personal limits. Know what you can do and what you can’t and don’t be afraid to let the other person know. It’s okay to say “no” to a request, even a reasonable one. Remember, you can’t help anyone if you deplete your energy reserves helping everyone but yourself.

4. When dealing with energy vampires, set limits. This can be constraints on time, conversation topics, responsibilities, etc. You cannot solve the problems of the world, or even of one person. Give what you can, and then be ready to walk away. There is nothing wrong with making someone else handle the problems they’ve created. In fact, you’re doing them a favor. If the conversation becomes draining, simply end it by making an excuse to leave. You can also start a conversation with “I’ve only got a few minutes before I have to {fill in the blank}.” Then when time is up, politely bring the conversation to a close. Don’t allow the energy vampire to make you feel guilty or trap you into staying longer than you had indicated.

5. Don’t get drawn in. Limit your emotional response to the other person’s drama. You can listen without becoming involved. If a response is needed, say something neutral such as “I’m sure that hurt your feelings quite a bit,” and repeat as needed. It’s also perfectly acceptable to put an end to the vitriol before it gets going-especially if it involves another person. Simply stop the speaker with something like “If you have a problem with {person’s name here} I think you need to take this up with him/her.” Then refuse to engage in any further discussion. Keep your attitude positive and kill them with kindness-just don’t let yourself become involved. Whenever necessary, walk away. It’s okay to tell someone (even a student or client) that you are not equipped to deal with their problem today, and you need time to think about it. Schedule another appointment for a time in which you will be better prepared.

The bottom line in avoiding energy vampires is this: no one can take advantage of you without your permission. This energy drain is a lack of control. Take it back and it’s like a necklace of garlic. You can create your own vampire vaccine by setting limits on those who drain your energy. All it takes is practice.

2012 A Year to Remember

The new year is less than a week away. I always love the new year. Heck, I love a new month. To me there is something so exhilerating about tearing off the old calendar page and revealing a fresh new page ready to be filled with limitless opportunities, events, and learning. That clean calendar month is the joy of possibility-ready to be whatever I make of it.

This year, however, I don't seem to have the same level of excitement that I usually do. I can find little delight in putting up the 2013 calendar when the news is still full of stories of parents who are burying their children in Newton and the world as a whole seems to have been turned upside down. How can I take joy in the new year, when so many people who have every right to be here celebrating aren't?

I had originally planned to write this post about stress management. Last week I even started mapping it out-no procrastination for me. I was going to talk about how to deal with December's usual anxiety-causing events such as office dynamics, Christmas shopping, traveling, and a six-year-old who counts down the days until Santa comes with an increasing cacophony of yells, singing, and cheering (somebody else out there can relate, right?)? Yet, I can't bring myself to write it. All of that seems so insignificant. How can I write about holiday stress when so many people would be grateful to have the worries I have?

Yesterday I got caught up in an online debate about gun control-specifically whether teachers should be aremed in order to better protect their students. I was (and am) adamant in my belief that this is more harmful than helpful. It teaches our children to fear. To fear strangers. To fear of being harmed. To fear the world at large. I don't know what the answer is, but I know in my heart that this is not it. I subscribe to the Free Range parenting beliefs (www.freerangekids.com) of letting my child be a child. I want her to play outside, to run from house to house, to talk to strangers, to be independent and confident in herself. For many days the media have carried the stories of hero teachers, principals, aides, and other staff. People who put themselves in harms way to save their students. No one can deny the bravery and heroism that these fine people showed in the most tragic of circumstances, but there were some unsung heroes that day as well. Children who helped each other. Who ran past the gunman and escaped. Who hid quietly waiting to be rescued (no easy feat as anyone with small children can tell you). Undoubtably these children will be scarred for the rest of their lives, as I believe the American people will be, but they are heroes. They faced the worst mankind has to offer and met that trial with courage and aptitude which is more than just the survival instinct.

And in this, there is hope. As we often do when there is a national tragedy, the American people came together on Friday. We put aside our political, religious, and moral beliefs to stand with the residents of Newtown, to grieve with them, to love with them. Thoughts and prayers as well as gifts and volunteers from around the country and around the world are with the mourners. America grieves as one for the lives and the innocence lost on Friday.

In fact, it seems that the residents have too much support and would prefer that we find a way to honor the victims without intruding on this small town. I cannot solve the gun control issue, but I believe I have a solution for this. For those of us who feel the need to do something, let us pledge to live 2013 for those who will not be a part of it. Let us love one another, be good to our neighbors, share our bounty with those who have less, and most importantly let us teach our children to do this as well. Let us not live in fear or allow our children to live in terror. Nor should we respond to this tragedy with fear, more violence, or the stockpiling of our own arsonal. Instead, we should live this year in such a way that when our grandchildren's grandchildren study this period in history they can say of America that we came together, putting aside our differences, and truly made this world a better place to be. Let us, though our actions, teach all the evil in this world that love can overcome even the most horrific of tragedies because I still believe it can.

A Season of Gratitude

Gratitude. It seems natural to me that between Thanksgiving and Christmas my thoughts naturally turn to the past year, the future, and what I have to be thankful for. This year has been a part of an amazing journey for me, so it's hard to know where to begin.

A year ago at this time I was full of dispair. I was sure that I was never going to get a new job, sure that I had blown the interview for my dream job,  sure that I was doomed to suffer the wrath of someone who seemed to hate me for no reason that I could fathom. I'm not sure I'll ever figure that one out, but I prefer not to dwell on it. Three hundred and sixty-six days later (it's a leap year you know) I find myself humming on my way into the office in the mornings. I know that I am finally in a place where I am appreciated, and I'm grateful to be here.

According to Wikipedia, gratitude is defined as"a feeling or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive." Three major world religions are focused around the idea of graitude, philosophers have studied it, and Andy Andrews says people with a spirit of thankfulness are the people we all want to be around. Even retailers are getting in on the act. A recent study showed that customers of a jewelry store who were called and thanked increased their business by 70%. Customers who were thanked and told about a sale increased business by 30% and those who weren't called at all showed no increase. Gratitude is important and makes us feel more generous-why do you think servers write "thank you" at the top of your receipt?

Two years ago I was in a very bad place emotionally. I was horribly depressed and wallowing in my misery. Thanksgiving came around, and I began feeling even more sorry for myself. I was in this horrible situation that wasn't getting any better, what did I have to be thankful for? At the Thanksgiving table that year, my four year old daughter announced (out of the blue) that she was thankful to be with her family that she loved. Well, I'm surprised no one commented on the lightbulb that surely went on over my head as it hit me-perhaps I did have a lot to be grateful for afterall (beginning with her).

That night I made a quick list of everything that I had in my life-the things I hadn't spent much time appreciating lately. I felt so good that I decided to make it a daily habit. For one year-from Thanksgiving to Thanksgiving-I would record at least one thing each day that I had to be grateful for. At first it was very difficult, but the more I did it the better I got. I found myself noticing good things more often during the day and thinking "I need to remember this for tonight because I should write it down." By the end of the year I had filled three notebooks and realized that my life wasn't completely horrible. Some days were easier than others; this gratitude journal didn't fix my job situation or end my emotional slump (it takes more than that to fight off clinical depression), but it certainly gave me a new perspective-a chance to see the good around me even though I was often overwhelmed with the bad.

So this year, as I think about all I have to be grateful for I'm again filled with appreciation for life, love, opportunity, those who are on this journey with me. I hope you are too. If not, if stress and frustration overwhelm you, take a few minutes tonight (or right now) and think about the blessings you have in your life. Make a list. Start your own "habitude of gratitude." For me it turns out 2012 was a pretty good year. I can't wait to see what's next. 

Parting Thoughts:This morning, if you woke up healthy, then you are luckier than the million that will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced a war, a loneliness of an imprisonment, torture or a famine, you are happier, than 500 million persons in this world.

If there is a meal in your refrigerator, if you are dressed and have got shoes, if you have a bed and a roof above your head, you are better off, than 75% of people in this world.

If you have a bank account, money in your purse and there is change in your coin box, you belong to 8% of well-provided people in this world.

Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
Dance like nobody's watching,
Sing like nobody's listening,
Be surprised, like you were born yesterday,
Tell the truth and you don't have to remember anything,
Live like it's Heaven on Earth.

Motivation

So today I did a presentation on personal motivation. I admit I'm probably not the best person for this topic. This morning as I walked into work it was all I could do not to turn around and go home. I'm a big believer that God made yucky gray days (like this morning) so people can stay home in their PJ's curled up reading a book.

In my research for this topic I found a lot of articles and good books on the subject. They recommended things like "reward yourself" or creating incentives at work for people who go above and beyond. They were all great ideas, I suppose, but what I learned was that there are as many ways to motivate someone as there are people in this world. How am I supposed to know what will do the trick for each of my co-workers? (Especially in light of my theory on gray days!)

Fortunately, I came across the most amazing book. It was "The Butterfly Effect" by Andy Andrews. I've been a fan of his since first read "The Noticer" and was excited to get this book. Upon reading it I knew that it would be the basis for my presentation. So as not to risk being sued for copyright infringement, I can't type out my presentation here. But I can summarize some of the main points. I would definitely recommend picking up a copy of the book to read it for yourself!

Basically, the butterfly effect stems from a theory presented by a man named Edward Lorenz. His idea had more to do with the formation of hurricanes, but it was later proven to be true-that every move made by nature and man has a lasting and far-reaching impact. One of my favorite examples from the book was the story of a farmer named Moses. Moses and his wife, Susan, lived on a farm in Missouri. One night a band of radicals burned their farm, stole or killed most of the livestock, and dragged off Susan's best friend, Mary, who was clutching her infant son, George. Moses rode his last remaining horse for miles until he reached a meeting place in Kansas where he traded that last remaining horse for a naked, nearly dead baby George. He walked that baby all the way home, knowing that Mary was surely dead, and promised to take care of him, educate him, and love him like his own. And he did. That could have been the end of the story, but it's not. On the night Moses Carver gave baby George Washington his last name, he flitted his butterfly wings and set the most amazing things in motion. Sure we all know that George Washington Carver studied the peanut. And people even know about his work with the sweet potato. But what most people don't know is that when he was in college, George took a young boy out in the field with him to study plants. That little boy grew up with a love an appreciation for plants that led him to eventually become Secretary of Agriculture. Later, when Henry Wallace became the Vice President of the United States he started a facility that eventually went on to create hybrid forms of corn and wheat that could be grown in dry climates. These plants were grown in places corn and wheat had never been grown before and people who had limited access to food were suddenly growing it for themselves. It's estimated that over 2 billion people have been saved from starvation because of these plants-and all because George Washington Carver took time to instill a love for fauna in 6 year old Henry Wallace.

At one time or another I think most people wonder if they matter, if their life has any impact or meaning beyond their lifetime. Generations after Moses Carver saved that baby boy, 2 billion people are alive because of it. I'm sure that Moses, and probably even George, had no idea that those simple acts would have such far-reaching effects. But it begs the question, what impact will your life have on the future? What unborn people will be impacted because of what you do today? That student you mentor. That cashier you give a friendly smile to. Your own children or nieces or nephews. Who's life will you change that will lead to another change and another and another so that one day, many years after you're gone, the world will be a different, better place because you chose to act today?

PS Chelsea, if you're reading this, the world will be impacted if you do your homework. Get started!! :)

Student Goal Setting-What is our Role?

It's that time of year again. Time for sharpening pencils, testing pens, buying new supplies (and a new wardrobe), and of course goal setting. For me August and September tend to feel more like the new year than January 1. I guess that's because in my life August has always signaled the start of something new. I've been in school in one way or another my whole life. First as a student, then a teacher, then as a full time employee in higher education. But no matter what my role, the start of the school has always signaled the start of a new year.

For me the new year always started with back to school shopping. The smell of new clothes and sight of clean notebooks signals a fresh start and a joy I just can't describe. New teachers, new friends, everything was clean and fresh and stretching out in front of me like a story waiting to be written. As I got older I also used this time to set goals for myself, to prewrite my story if you will. Whether it was my own academics or the instruction of others this felt like the perfect time to re-evaluate my life and see where I was headed. Plus it's a lot easier to plan a 9 month goal than one for 12, right?



That was why when it came time for planning a training for August, the obvious choice to me was student goal setting. Maybe it comes from my background in special ed and those wonderful IEP goals, but to me it seems like everyone who works with students should be interested in this. NC Central has developed an amazing program for first and second year students. These students get lots of individualized attention from a slew of staff including academic advisors and counselors. Even the dean can be seen meeting with students and not a day goes by that at least one doesn't stop by my office to see where he is. (The poor man is always in meetings.) However, upon reviewing my feedback forms I found people questioning the usefulness of the topic.

I understand that some people (like advisors) have very prescribed roles (get them enrolled in classes), and I understand that between caseloads, paperwork, committees, and other responsibilities it can seem like there isn't enough time to get everything done. I don't have a solution for that, I wish I did-I'd make millions. What I do know is that we need to take responsibility for our students and do what we need to do to help them. I am a HUGE fan of country singer and activist Jimmy Wayne. I attended a concert of his at ECU a couple of years ago. It was a very intimate setting and he did about as much telling of his personal story as he did singing. It was a life-changing experience for me. Jimmy talked about his time in the foster care system and how growing up there wasn't a lot of help from adults. It made me rethink my relationship with my students. My goal became to meet them as people, not schedules that needed to be changed or vessels in which to dump study skills. They were human beings who needed love, compassion, a listening ear, and someone to help them set up schedules and teach study skills. From that point forward I tried to really live the "Fish!" philosophy of Being There for my students. I can't say I was always successful. Sometimes my own problems or the paperwork piling up crept in, but I hope that they knew that I loved them and wanted the best for them.

I guess what I'm saying is that goal setting doesn't necessarily fit exactly with a lot of job descriptions, but if you're working with students, shouldn't it? Shouldn't we take the time to get to know our students, to reach out them and meet them where they are? Helping them set goals is one way to do that-to discover their hopes and dreams and to be a part of the achievement. Isn't student success why we got into education in the first place?

If you're interested in finding out more here are a couple of links:

For helping students with goal setting:
http://www.collegeparents.org/members/resources/articles/helping-your-college-student-goal-setting-%E2%80%93-and-action-plans

http://www.setting-and-achieving-goals.com/

To find out more about Jimmy Wayne or Project Meet Me Halfway
http://www.jimmywayne.com/

http://projectmmh.org/

Student Engagement

As I am working on a presentation about student engagement, I can't help but think back to students I've worked with in the past. Many were engaged in the college experience (some in less academic pursuits than others) and others struggled to maintain the appropriate level of educational involvement.

We've all had students who struggled and needed help feeling like their failures were not the result of lack of ability. Studies have shown that helping students see the connection between effort and achievement will help improve their self-esteem and overall academic engagement. But how do we get students to put forth the effort when they are convinced that it will only lead to failure?

I once had a student who struggled to make it through his college classes. His lack of success could be attributed to a number of things: lower IQ, lack of knowledge about how to study, but most of all his lack of effort. You see, Todd was a sweet student who was very likeable. He was one that people just liked to help out, take under at this particular school was not an especially difficult course for students who were willing to put in the effort. There wasn't a great deal of technical information involved, just the need to study effectively and determinedly.

Since Todd needed to repeat the class, we decided that this time around he would focus on setting small goals of consisting of tasks to be accomplished rather than focusing on the grades earned. We set up a study schedule with specific daily hours set aside to work on assignments. Each week we mapped out all the steps he would have to take (reading text, reviewing notes, completing assignments, etc.) and laid them out on a daily to-do list. Once that was done, Todd was only allowed to look at that day’s list and to work on those assignments. When he finished, he was done with Theater for the day. This focused him on the effort needed to acheive the daily goals and prevented him from getting anxious about what tests or papers lied ahead. We celebrated each checked off item rather than the grades earned, and I saved every one of those lists. At the end of the semester, I laid them all out in front of him, and we looked at all of the tasks he had accomplished. This was the most dedicated that Todd had been to any class since he started college. But would it be enough?

At the end of that semester, not only did Todd have an “A” in a class he had previously failed, but he also found a new understanding of how effort equals success. It was a lesson he would need to be reminded of periodically throughout his college career. Todd was a student with a learning disability and many years of failures behind him. There were times for him that it was easier to think about those than the successes he had with just a bit more effort. I am proud to say however, that after 5 years of taking classes Todd successfully finished his undergraduate degree and went on to bigger and better things. It is here I hope he continued to put this lesson to good use.

It is possible to try and fail. But it is impossible to not try and succeed.